before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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