I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
