Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize