my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
