The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
