so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
