ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
