just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
