Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
What drink are we having for lunch?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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