Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
