i don't plan on having that self control this summer
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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