As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
