who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
