I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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