Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
