she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
