I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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