Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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