For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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