cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
