i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
