How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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