Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
