Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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