Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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