Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
