it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
