If i come over, it means nothing
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
