talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
