You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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