I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
tell me about the fingering
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
