Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm going to jail i love you
so that wasnt chicken after all
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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