yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She told me I should be a condom model.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
When are your genitals available?
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