Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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