i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
