they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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