THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize