i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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