The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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