so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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