I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just forgot I was standing up.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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