I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
