yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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