is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He felt like a one man threesome
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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