cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
nutella sex= disaster
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
