That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
