I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
