I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
