I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
