dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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