you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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