i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
