she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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