Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Randomize
